Posts in : Category: Blog | Page 6 | Gay Ketubahs
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by JordanNo comments yet
We’re a little behind on the Garden State, but as of 3 days ago a New Jersey judged ruled in favor for legalizing Same-Sex Marriage! Judge Mary Jacobson stated that not recognizing the legal rights of Same-Sex marriage would be violating state constitution, especially now that the federal government recognizes gay marriages. Beginning October 21st, gay couples can now tie the knot in New Jersey! Read here for more info.
Any Gay Jewish couples in Jersey already planning their big day? Contact us to get your perfect Ketubah — we would love the be apart of your beautiful ceremony!
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by Jordan
How does LGBT couple find the right text?
Answer: with a lot of care!
Every Ketubah artist is different, and has his own texts that you can work with. There are a few things to be aware of:
First, not all Ketubah artists will work with same sex couples. The ones on Bagel Ketubahs are Ketubah artists who are actively enthusiastic about working with same-sex couples. If you’re not enthusiastic — you’re not for us!
Second, each Ketubah artist creates his/her own text. You need to go through them and find the one that resonates the most with you.
Third, many Ketubah artists encourage you to create your own text. You should work with them.
Fourth, our favorite Ketubah artistic team, whom we often recommend, is “This is not a Ketubah, Yes it is” (aka “Tinak”) — they’re very very supportive of gay couples, the should have our flag all over their site hahaha! Take a look at them, too!
Good luck finding the right text — and let me know if you have any questions!
Jordan
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by Jordan
We chose our name, Bagel Ketubahs, due to the fun pun: Bagel or BGL = Bsexual, Gay and Lesbian. Get it? The three most common of non-traditionally-gendered people, taken together to form the most common and traditional Jewish food!
The problem is, such a clever name doesn’t include the letter “T” anywhere, so we’re omitting in our name our transgendered brothers and sisters!
Sorry for not explicitly mentioning you in our name, everyone. We wish there was a T- in there somewhere. Maybe we should rename ourselves after Blintzes — there’s the “T” and in there, as well as a “B” and the “B”!!! And we can probably do something with the “s” at the end as well. What do you all think? We’re up for changing our name!
More broadly, any transgendered Jew who is interested in a Ketubah, we’d love to work with you’d, we’d be overjoyed, we’d be jumping over the roof with happiness! Life is short to not express ourselves in all the ways we can!!!
-Team BGL!!!!
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by Jordan
Views on Same Sex Marriage by Religion
This study is fantastic. In an academic survey of attitudes towards same-sex marriage by religion, most Jews support gay marriage more than members of any other religion, by a non-trivial margin!
Therefore, we are scientifically and objectively the most pro-Gay rights religion!
Go Jews!
We invented the idea of human rights 5,000 years ago: and now, we’re taking it to the next level!
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by Jordan
There’s a wonderful article at Thought Catalog about a woman who not only self-identifies as same-sex, but, grew up Chassidic, in Crown Heights. Some great lines:
We come to the subject of Jewish learning. I admit that I’ve contemplated seeking out a Torah study group. Yes, yes, she says, join my group. I meet with girls just like you.
Just like me, I think, but not like me at all.
You should know, I tell Esther, a sense of hope roiling in my gut, that things might be different this time, I live with my girlfriend.
She blinks once, twice.
I’m gay. Again, no recognition. I’m a homosexual.
She inches away, ever so slightly, and closes the siddur in her lap. Could I not be that way, she wonders out of the side of her mouth. But it’s impossible to not be any other way for me.
Read more here.
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by Jordan
Scheduled for October 28th, Governor Neil Abercrombie will hold a special legislative session to decide wether or not to advance on the marriage equality bill. According to the article in The Huffington Post, this would make Hawaii the 13th state to legalize gay marriage! Gov. Abercrombie stated that this bill has been about 20 years in the making, and up until this point, has been seen and analyzed in every possible light possible.
Here at Bagel, we thought what was most interesting about Hawaii’s bill is that they are truly striving to create a law for marriage equality that everyone will be satisfied with. It seems that the bill has overwhelming support and (fingers crossed!) if passed, Hawaii could begin issuing marriage licenses as early as November 18th! So, for all you Jewish Hawaiians out there — make sure to take a peek at our Ketubahs for your big day!
So, stay tuned! We’re hoping to celebrate with tropical style happy hour if passed :)
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by Jordan
Sometimes, couples ask us: can a Gay ketubah be Orthodox?
The answer is… it depends.
The traditional Ketubah has many legalistic provisions detailing the rights and obligations in both parties in the Ketubah.
One example is the role of the zuzim — the ancient Jewish currency in which the transactions of the Ketubah are mandated. There are various situations under which, effectively, a dowry needs to be paid. Does your Ketubah text mandate all these details?
More broadly: the traditional Ketubah is not a general feel-good document in which both parties declare their love for each other. Rather, it is a legal contract in which they bind themselves to each other, and mandate what each must and must not do to the other and for the other.
The closer the Ketubah text comes to maintaining these original provisions, the more “kosher” it will be for a Gay Ketubah.
Of course, this overlooks the minor detail that the language of the original Ketubah states “bride” and “groom” — not “bride and bride” nor “groom and groom.” To us, it is very clear that the definition of “bride” and “groom” is flexible, and always has been, since the time of antiquity.
There are, however, certain rabbis who do insist on the more commonly accepted definition of each word.
So what matters most, above all, is choosing the right rabbi for you two!
In other words: ask your Rabbi! Your rabbi needs to approve the Ketubah text regardless!
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by Jordan
Are you still in the midst of your wedding planning and looking for great inspirations? Being involved in a good amount of the Gay (Jewish) Wedding world, we have seen our fair share of the difficulties of planning a wedding. Forget about the Gay Jewish part of it, planning weddings in general take a LOT of work!
We are happy to provide a service for all those Gay Jewish couples out there searching for their perfect Ketubah, but we know that’s only just one part of the ceremony and big day. For those searching for great ideas that match their lifestyles, interests, and unique tastes we recommend you check out Equally Wed: Real Weddings. Not only do they have photos, testimonies, and great ideas for gay couples tying the knot, but for Jewish gay couples! We are absolutely are in LOVE with their real weddings!
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by Jordan
One by one, every synagogue is starting to see the light, and let gays marry! The latest… Temple Isaiah in Palm Springs! Read this article; here’s an excerpt:
PALM SPRINGS — The setting inside Rabbi Sally Olins’ office at Temple Isaiah felt comfortably casual Thursday morning as Mel Matulsky and Tab Berman gathered with their families and close friends, many of them joking and snapping photos. Someone brought in a tub of bottled water.
Go you guys!!!
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by Jordan
There is exciting news about an Orthodox retreat for religious gay and lesbian (and all BGL!) Jews.
It’s exciting that we’re being accepted in more and more orthodox circles.
Maybe even one day the Haredim will accept us!
What is most wonderful about this article is… the retreat is in Wisconsin. Who even knew there were enough Jews there? Quote:
The upcoming retreat for queer Orthodox Jews at Perlstein Resort and Conference Center in the Wisconsin Dells is nothing short of a revolution. From Aug. 9–11, about 50 LGBT Jews and their families will descend upon the sleepy town of Lake Delton, for a weekend of inspiration, fun, learning, kosher food, worship and traditional Orthodox Sabbath observance.
